When I found this in my gratitude journal last night my heart swelled. This was wrote 7 days before my transplant. If you know the story, you know the transplant was not planned at all.
I was called at 2 am on August 31st with a kidney offer. It was a surprise, God really had something up His sleeve for me. It’s amazing to see, that even though I had no guarantee that I would ever get a kidney and knowing that in the back of my mind I KNEW that I would have to start dialysis soon, in that in my time of waiting I was joyful even still. I had no idea if I would ever be able to live a normal life again or if I’d ever be able to live out the dreams that were placed on my heart. I prayed for peace for so long, but it was when I finally understood that peace is a state of mind. Peace comes from faith without a certain outcome. Peace comes from joy not based on circumstances. Where I finally understood what peace really was, I was able to actually give my situation to God and leave it at His feet. On the night of August 29th, I will never forget, I simply prayed and told God I was ready. Before I was so scared to have my transplant. I was scared of what it would mean for me. Everything would change. What if I didn’t make it out of surgery?
When I found my peace, I was able to realize that none of those thoughts were legitimate things to worry on, because no matter what did happen, God had it planned before He even created me, and that in itself was a beautiful enough truth to me that I could handle any outcome. So I told Him I was ready— ready to feel alive again, to live out the beautiful things that had been laid on my heart for so, so long.
A day later I got my call. I think I honestly scared my nurses and doctors because I was so happy to be there in pre-op. They couldn’t understand why I wasn’t nervous, but I knew why I wasn’t and I can’t thing of a more joyful day in my life.
This is my testimony. I will never not share it. I will never stop talking about this miracle. It’s not about me— it’s just a testimony of what a God who loves you unconditionally will do in your life. If I had not went through the 6 years of waiting, I would not be who I am today.
The waiting molded me, the answered prayer defined me.